Perhaps its not meant to be

Sometimes the above phrase pops up in my head. Its been doing it a LOT lately. Most of you readers probably don't know whats goin' on with me at the moment, but let me tell ya, I have never been more emotionally unstable in my life.

Sure, I've been sort of happy on and off with the little things but generally I'm always feeling lonely, unloved, depressed. Workstress is getting to me too, unfortunately, because of some dramas in the office. I don't normally talk about my personal life but I feel that I need somewhere to let it out right now.

There's this person I have affections for which I recently got into a sort of argument. All I asked for was to see said person more often and I did so directly. Now the problem was I had talked to a close friend about it as well and things sort of got out of control. Now said person wants some time alone to 'recover' how long I do not know. So for now, I'm gonna be on my lonesome.

All in the pursuit of happiness? I think its all overrated. There's no such thing as happily ever afters in this world, no matter how ideal the situation. Something that I have come to be familiar with is dashed hopes. You know, the kind where something gets you excited and all your hopes up and then it just gets crushed by something. Yes, crushed.

So now I dare not to hope and dream anymore as its just gonna get destroyed anyway. You said so yourself that having too much hope is never a good thing.

You also told me to be honest to myself, which I am now doing and yet you seem to be unhappy about it.

So I'm going to shelve any hopes I had for you and never take them down again.