Perhaps its not meant to be

Sometimes the above phrase pops up in my head. Its been doing it a LOT lately. Most of you readers probably don't know whats goin' on with me at the moment, but let me tell ya, I have never been more emotionally unstable in my life.

Sure, I've been sort of happy on and off with the little things but generally I'm always feeling lonely, unloved, depressed. Workstress is getting to me too, unfortunately, because of some dramas in the office. I don't normally talk about my personal life but I feel that I need somewhere to let it out right now.

There's this person I have affections for which I recently got into a sort of argument. All I asked for was to see said person more often and I did so directly. Now the problem was I had talked to a close friend about it as well and things sort of got out of control. Now said person wants some time alone to 'recover' how long I do not know. So for now, I'm gonna be on my lonesome.

All in the pursuit of happiness? I think its all overrated. There's no such thing as happily ever afters in this world, no matter how ideal the situation. Something that I have come to be familiar with is dashed hopes. You know, the kind where something gets you excited and all your hopes up and then it just gets crushed by something. Yes, crushed.

So now I dare not to hope and dream anymore as its just gonna get destroyed anyway. You said so yourself that having too much hope is never a good thing.

You also told me to be honest to myself, which I am now doing and yet you seem to be unhappy about it.

So I'm going to shelve any hopes I had for you and never take them down again.

If you had a million bucks

I’ve had this question thrown at me quite a few times over the past few years. Most of the time, from the same ‘ol people. It’s nice to hear what people would do with the cash, mostly because you never know exactly what to expect from them.

Friend A : If I got a million bucks, I’d go on a weeklong vacation in the Bahamas, get the best spa treatment money can buy, and save the rest for a long retirement. Maybe donate some to charity...if I feel like it.

Friend B: If I got it, hmmm I guess I’ll invest a portion of it for a good green industrious cause, save a bit for old age/kids college education and put the rest towards founding a woman’s aid organization. (I raised an eyebrow at this, so noble kah?)

Relative A: I’d donate a part of it to charity, build a hotel for myself to run and maybe get an awesome car?

Friend C: A million bucks ar? I’ll put some of it towards my parents, for raising me, go get my grandpa’s corrective surgery done, get lasek myself, get a good house....and LIPOSUCTION! (now thats being direct lol)

As for me, if I did get a million bucks, I’d set up a fund for my younger bro’s education (I promised my mom that if I ever struck the lottery, that’d be the first thing I’d do, by my own free will) move somewhere thats got better security, maybe lasek. Keep whatever’s left I guess. Oh yeah, and invest towards the development of Lightsabers...and teleporters. Yeah.

The Four Stages of Life

After talking to an older member of the press that I met at an event last week, I came to the realization that each stage of life can be identified easily, depending on what you talk about when you meet friends.

Stage One : Youth

Friend : Hey, you got watch that (insert) show on TV or not? What football team are you supporting? Hey, got tution today? Are you still playing (insert) I finished the last level yesterday. Haiyah, Mr (insert) class is so difficult, can I copy your homework? etc.

Stage Two: Young Adulthood

Friend: Hey, I haven't seen you since school lah, how you been? What college are you going to now? Wahlaueh, got girlfriend already lah? Never intro. Oi, you're almost 25, go get a GF/BF lah. So, gonna find a job already? etc.

Stage Three : Adulthood

Friend: So, when you gonna get married hah? (insert) getting married next week, never suspected he'd be the first one hahaha. Wah, got kids already? got photo or not? How many? So, where you working now? etc etc.

Stage Four : When you know you're getting old.

Friend: Your kids grow up already leh, so when are they gonna have your grandkids?


-Out.

Crystallized Salt

My sea monkey tank is finally almost dry. It took quite awhile but it is forming salt crystals at the bottom, good sign. Once it's gone bone dry, I'll try hydrating it to see if there's still any living sea monkeys inside. Depending on the situation I might need to get a change of supplies, because I think its the algae feed I gave them that killed them off...after all it is a couple of years old. Is probably stale.

On another note, I saw this crystal growing kit at Toys'R'Us that lets you grow your own crystal in an aquarium. You can pick the colour, its roughly 35 bucks, I just don't know how long it'll take to grow. From what I've heard, it can take WEEEKS. I'll see if I decide to get it. If I do, expect posts XD

-Out.

And Counting.

I thought I'd never have to say this but I need to lose some weight :( well, I don't look all that fat because I'm naturally chunky as is, but I'm starting to not be able to wear my usual pants and its getting distressing. So yeah, 68kgs and counting...

The Lord save us all...

1 O Lord, rescue me from evil people.Protect me from those who are violent,

2 those who plot evil in their heartsand stir up trouble all day long.

3 Their tongues sting like a snake;the venom of a viper drips from their lips.

4 O Lord, keep me out of the hands of the wicked.Protect me from those who are violent,for they are plotting against me.

5 The proud have set a trap to catch me;they have stretched out a net;they have placed traps all along the way.

6 I said to the Lord, “You are my God!”Listen, O Lord, to my cries for mercy!

7 O Sovereign Lord, the strong one who rescued me,you protected me on the day of battle.

8 Lord, do not let evil people have their way.Do not let their evil schemes succeed,or they will become proud.

9 Let my enemies be destroyedby the very evil they have planned for me.

10 Let burning coals fall down on their heads.Let them be thrown into the fireor into watery pits from which they can’t escape.

11 Don’t let liars prosper here in our land.Cause great disasters to fall on the violent.

12 But I know the Lord will help those they persecute;he will give justice to the poor.

13 Surely righteous people are praising your name;the godly will live in your presence.

(Ps 140:1-13)

Handing Myself the Knife

I know the title has nothing to do with the post. Well, a month ago or so I was diagnosed with
a ganglion at the base of my right wrist. Sure, its not too big and it only hurts a bit on and off, its still irratating. If I want it removed I must be prepared to pay between 1.2 -2.2k just to cut it out and sew it back up...something I'd do myself if the darn thing didnt sit on top of my jugular vein. At any rate, heres hoping it goes away on its own.

Seamonkerlets grow!

I'd love to post a picture of them, but they're still pretty small, everything considered. And they refuse to keep still for even a nanosecond. Noticed a few more very small hatchlings and that they have a pretty good appetite, good sign. Half the critical week is over already, so they'll soon be safe.
Spotted a couple more dead bodies at the bottom of the tank. Sucked them out already.